Creating connection

The trusted advisor

5 minutes

Have you ever wondered why some leaders effortlessly foster deep, lasting connections while others struggle? When it comes to professional relationships, the foundation of success lies in one critical element: trust. As a leader, your ability to establish trust not only enhances your professional relationships but also cements your role as a trusted advisor.

Trust is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship. Whether you’re working with colleagues, clients, or stakeholders, your capacity to build and maintain trust will define the quality and longevity of these relationships. As a leader, your approach to trust-building can transform ordinary interactions into profound, impactful connections.

Key elements of becoming a trusted advisor

Focus on the stakeholder, not yourself

The first step in building trust is to shift your focus from yourself to the stakeholder. Understand their needs, concerns, and aspirations. Focus on the stakeholder as an individual, not just as someone fulfilling a role. By prioritising their interests, you demonstrate genuine care and commitment, which are essential for trust to flourish.

The power of active listening

Active listening is more than just hearing words; it's about understanding the underlying messages and emotions. How do you become a good listener? Probe for clarification. Ask for more details to help you understand. Listen for the story and for unvoiced emotions, not just the words. Eliminate distractions while listening so you can easily catch any subtleties.

The role of empathy in building trust

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Listen to where the other party is coming from, understand that perspective and acknowledge that understanding. When you empathise with someone, you earn the right to discuss, disagree, or even argue without losing that person’s respect for you. This mutual understanding forms the foundation of trust, fostering a relationship where both parties feel valued and understood.

The 5 phases of becoming a trusted advisor

Phase 1: Engage

The trust-building process begins with establishing an initial connection. This connection sets the stage for the other person to feel comfortable discussing their needs. This is the stage where the other party first considers whether you can help them find a solution to a specific problem. They must believe you can offer them something valuable regarding their specific issue to open up about it.

Phase 2: Listen

There are two common mistakes advisors make when listening:

Overly rational listening: This focuses only on the logical or factual parts of what others are saying, ignoring emotions, feelings, or the context behind the words. This kind of listening can make it hard to understand the full meaning of a conversation because it overlooks the emotional and human aspects that are often just as important as the facts.

Overly passive listening: This is when someone listens without really engaging in the conversation. They might hear the words but don’t actively respond, ask questions, or show interest. This can make the speaker feel ignored or unimportant because the listener isn’t showing that they care or are involved in what’s being said.

Effective trusted advisors know that listening is both an emotional and rational process, crucial for building trust and demonstrating care.

Phase 3: Frame

Framing involves defining complex issues and emotions clearly, offering both new insights and perspectives. The main part of framing is finding and explaining the most important parts of the problem, especially those that are hidden or really important. Identify the variables and then generate a list, draw a diagram, or sketch out your process or approach. This would help you visualise the problem and create a clear plan for addressing it.

Phase 4: Envision

Contrary to popular belief, once a problem is defined, the next step isn’t to jump straight to a solution. Instead, the focus shifts to looking at the end result in detail, avoiding jumping to premature solutions. Envisioning involves addressing three key questions:

What are we really aiming for here?
What will it look like when we get there?
How will we know we are there?

This process helps you and your stakeholders understand what they truly want.

Phase 5: Commit

Once you’ve reached this point, it means that you have already clearly defined the problem and envisioned the best solution. The next step is to commit fully to implementing the solution. This involves not only making a firm decision to move forward but also allocating the necessary resources, setting a timeline, and establishing accountability measures. Ensure that all stakeholders are aligned and that everyone understands their roles and responsibilities.

Reflect on your current interactions and identify areas where you can improve trust-building efforts. By focusing on stakeholders, actively listening, and demonstrating empathy, you pave the way for more meaningful and lasting connections. Remember that each interaction is an opportunity to build trust and demonstrate your commitment to the success of those you engage with.

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